[root@internet /]$ su -c ‘reboot now’
The Internet is going to fail; and if you’re my age, you’ll get to see it!
Advertisement on the Internet is a gigantic failure.
TV and Radio Ads are one thing. Even though the radio is in my car, which I use to visit various shops, it doesn’t know where I shop. Oh sure, it’s a local station, it can make creepily accurate guesses about the local stores I frequent, but it doesn’t know.
The Internet is different, it knows what I’m looking for, where I’ve been, how I got there. The Internet is fucking creepy. Transitively, the advertisements it offers up are eerily creepy.
Open up an email about Ruby; my ad-bar is populated with programming/computer related adverts. That’s creepy.
I know exactly how all that magic works, that’s what makes it even more creepy!
People don’t like creepy. Creepy doesn’t make people by your products. No matter how relevant they are.
Internet adverts were doomed from the start. The Internet just wasn’t meant to be an advertising medium.
An advert based economy cannot sustain itself if nobody is interested in what you’re selling. The traditional business model is currently something like this:
- Offer a service to our customers that makes them divulge information
- Use that information to display adverts
- ???
- PROFIT!!!
However, I think we’ve crossed a line. Now we’re too good at guessing what people want. We’re not guessing anymore. Internet adverts are a frickin’ science!
The ad economy will collapse. It’s going to turn into a micro-economy; or it’ll fail altogether and go back to being a niche-geek-thing. Where geeks will host websites that are permanently “under_construction.gif”, and the Internet will be an awesome place because our $125k+/yr. salaries will fuel the Internet.
I’m not saying there’s no place for profit on the internet.
I’m not saying advertisements have no place on the internet.
I’m saying we made a huge mistake assuming the internet was “just another communication medium” to sell ad-space on.
No, the Internet was, neigh, is the greatest technological marvel.
The Internet will outlive all of us. Not in its current incarnation though.
Future generations will look back on us, and laugh.
We have the greatest tool ever built, and we foolishly plastered it with advertisements.
We have a massively inter-connected network of computers; yet it’s so fragmented.
The spirit of cooperation squandered by competition.
Technological progress stunted by companies who just lack the vision to move on.
The Internet needs an update, and that update will require a massive restart.
The Internet is dead.
Q and A with Robbie
Q: Why are there no ads on Google’s homepage?
A: Because if you want to deliver an effective advertisement, you can’t let someone know you’re selling to them.
Q: Why are there ads on Facebook’s homepage?
A: Because Facebook isn’t as smart as Google.
Q: But do you like cheese chips?
A: I mothafugginlove cheese chips!
BOOM, SERVED.
